Read before you pass judgement

I know that this sounds odd, But I think that the best thing that happeded to me last week happened thursday when kevin's cousin steven died. i know that sounds horrible, but please let me explain. Stevie was an awsome guy. He was kind of quiet and possibly a person that you would walk away from if you saw him in the store because he looked kind of scary, but honestly, he had to be the nicest guy I have ever met. He died early thursday morning from a heart attack, he was only 22.
The reason I say that this was the best thing that happened to me is not for the fact that I did not like the guy, but because of the fact that his death has shown me how short life truely is. It is a different kind of sadness when someone young dies, versus when someone old dies. this one a shocker to say the least. Oddly enough, neither Kevin or I are really sad about it. Yes, we shed some tears when we heard, especiall for the fact that stevie has been working for kevin for the past month, but all in all, we are ok with it. All I know is that now I reralize how grateful I am to have my family. I have a wonderful husband and 5 beautiful children that I love and that love me back. Stevie did not have this, no wife, no kids. I am so grateful at the fact that my Heavenly Father has given me the oppertunity to be a wife and mother. I think that we sometimes take this great gift for granted.
Stevies death has also shown me how scared I am all the time. I am scared to call this person, or I am scared to go to church, or I am scared to speak my mind, or wear that shirt. Life is too short to live your life in fear, or worry about a thousand different things each day. What happened to sitting down with your kids at night and singing silly songs or reading a book instead of just watching tv or cleaning up the house. I think that Stevies death has scared me, but in a good way. I don't want to miss out on my life, i want to live it up, just like stevie did.
So to stevie, I say thank you. Thanks for all the laughes, the dirty jokes, the smiles, the waves, and thanks for helping me to realize that we are only here until we are called home, so we better make the best of it.